Penny Mckay

Archive for the ‘Personally yours’ Category

The practice of non attachment is a key part of Buddhist philosophy. If we are able to see through the veil that is this existance, this “reality”, then we will see that non of it is real and that non of it really matters. What does matter, though, is our level of awareness while we function in this so called reality. It is the ultimate paradox.

So how do we remain aware, vital, joyous and “committed” about living a full and purposeful life?

And how can we begin to understand what it means to do this in a way that is ”non attached”? 

Just recently I have been asking, to be shown ways in which I could understand this paradox in a real way. Or should I correct myself in that I wanted to be shown in ways that I could more easily relate to and share with others.

It was interesting that the first insight in to ”commitment versus non attachment” that I was shown, came when my cat appeared in my lounge with a shrew in its mouth. I had my usual reaction of freaking out, shrieking and generally waving my arms in a shooing motion to scare the cat back out of the patio doors. She did go and promptly dropped the shrew in the middle of the back lawn. There it pretended to be dead. So I decided to sit in, on the vigil with my cat and the shrew and the longer I sat, the more I got in the moment and the more I got in the moment, the more I began to see the commitment my cat had to its prey. It was a waiting game and the shrew took its time. Eventually, it did begin to move, little by little,  though cautiously at first. My cat also took her time and watched and waited, fully committed to watching and waiting. It was brilliant to witness and it lead me to consider how can the predator be attached to the prey, for they have to eat it for survival! The predator fully commits to the process of catching the prey in the knowledge, of the outcome, it will be eaten. (Only not on this occasion because as soon as he was able I popped the shrew under the shed, out of harms way! ) Was my cat bothered? Did she sulk? Did she have a hissy fit and give up? No. Committed but not attached.

Then my mind began to move in other ways.

Consider baking? Cooking? You know that to achieve something that is edible you commit to a process that involves the appropriate ingredients, in the appropriate quantity and that they are dealt with in the appropriate way.  You invest time and effort (and sometimes blood, sweat and tears) towards an outcome that means your food will be consumed(hopefully). Your finished dish cannot be kept and looked at and admired, for as with all food it will spoil. So it must be eaten, savoured, enjoyed, celebrated and through this process we let it go. Committed to the process but not attached to the outcome.

How about gardening? Similar theme here too. All gardeners know they have to be committed to tending to their plants needs. Through careful planting, the appropriate soil, feeding, regular watering and exposure to the sun there will be rewards to reap. By being commited to nurturing the plants the fruits of the labour are admired or consumed. But not held on to. That glorious rose can only be glorious for a fleeting few days and it will wither and it will die. Those tomatoes or beans or strawberries must be picked and eaten, harvested in celebration at the optimum time or they will rot. What an incredible teacher nature is. Committed to the process but not attached to the outcome.

Then I considered how we value a fine wine. Many are stored for years in the commitment to mature and deepen the body and flavour. Again there can be no sense in needing or keeping or grasping when it comes to a fine wine. It has been created to be savoured and appreciated. That savouring and appreciating is fleeting, gone in a moment. You can not just look at a fine wine in a bottle, you must drink it, celebrate it and let it go!

How about having children? Now we’re talking. Herein lies a process of commitment  without attachment, which begins at the moment of conception. The moment a child is conceived is the moment of supreme non attachment for we must let our children grow and let our children go to become adults themselves, eventually. You can give your child the biggest hug in the world but you cannot keep him held. Commitment through non attachment.

So check out where you are, are you grasping and clinging to things? Car? Work? Money?

Are you holding on to people? Your children?

Why not celebrate the fantastic job you’ve done of being committed to those things or that person, by letting them go?

And gently start to practise the art of commitment through non attachment.

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Well, for me, it’s actually a case of  ” to bed - perchance to sleep” in all reality.

Am I alone in this? Is there anybody else out there who goes to bed tired, yet full of hope night after night? I Truly wonder what it feels like to fall asleep as soon as your head hits the proverbial pillow? I wonder…. 

So I was lying in bed last night wondering, nothing new there. I was pretty relaxed and I wasn’t worrying about anything. You see this is the thing, if I had things “on my mind”, I wouldn’t mind just lying there and I do know the best thing to do if you have “things” on your mind is to write them down so they don’t bug you at night. But I don’t have anything on my mind so I don’t fit  into that category.

Don’t get me wrong, on some level I was enjoying just lying there but only because I’ve been through the being frustrated and annoyed about being awake and I’ve come to terms with the fact there’s no point to any of that because it doesn’t matter how frustrated and annoyed you get, you are still awake! (breathe) As I was enjoying lying there all I could hear was my husbands regular breathing.

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There is an incredible book by Wayne Dyer called Inspiration, which I highly recommend if yours is the journey in to spirit. At the end of the book he recounts an incredible and inspiring afternoon when a butterfly landed on his finger and remained there for a number of hours. He was actually able to return to his hotel with the butterfly which stayed on his finger the whole time, pop it on to his desk when he got in to his room so he could take a shower. He then called his agent, who came over to the hotel and took a photograph of him with this butterfly that had obligingly got back on Wayne’s finger, to do so! Throughout this whole encounter Wayne was clearly filled with a sense of wander and awe at what was unfolding in front of him and he was able to really connect with what was happening to him every moment that that butterfly kept him present. Throughout he remained totally committed to the power of inspiration that was being presented to him. Incredible.

A while ago I too had a butterfly encounter but it didn’t quite unfold in the way that Wayne Dyer’s did. 

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Over the past few years my ideals and thoughts with regards to Christmas and all that it represents in this era, have changed alot. This year I have resisted the draw of the “stuff” in the shops and have been beavering away making gifts  for friends and family instead. With this I am at peace.

But what I am firmly not at peace with, is my Christmas tree decorations.  I am ashamed to admit I still possess tardy tinsel and brakish bauballs from a mindset that was of days gone by when I wasn’t so aware of how, longterm, all of these impact on the environment. So this has become my current mission. Originally my plan was to change one item of tawdriness with one of homemade origin, on a yearly basis! (I’m good with change, me) Then, I thought, what am I waiting for? Where was my commitment to the planet and the reversal of global warming ? Let alone the fact that if I wanted to recycle the old decs I’d have to get them to the charity shop pretty quick or I’d be stuck with them for another year.

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I have always considered myself to be quite purposeful. I mean I get out running (well jogging ) fairly regularly, I have now been writing my Blog-Ezine for 8 months and, along with my husband, managed to bring a small boy into the world. To me to walk the spiritual path embraces a sense of purpose in all that you choose to do,  I mean I love the nature of creativity and the freedom, I feel, that goes with that. Yes, quite purposeful or so I thought.

So a couple of weeks back as I continued on my journey of heart, thanks to the yoga course I am currently following, there was actually a further layer, joy of joys, to the separation that I noted in last months blog. The further layer I am struggling to even share with you, is that of boredom! Yes, there it is, heavy and tedious and large as life,  in my heart. In my so called spiritual heart. Read the rest of this entry »

Personally yours

So last week I met with an old friend for coffee and a catch up. It was really lovely to spend time just putting the world to rights until a few days later when I started to feel quite ashamed about the level of my conversation that day. My shame actually followed after a day of yoga that had led me deep in to my unknown heart.
It’s a usual kind of thing to chat about other people when the cappuccino and cake are rolled out. You know the kind of thing I mean. Who’s doing what? Who’s with who?
Who’s doing what to whom?! Whether we’re chatting about family, friends, work colleagues, celebrities or even politicians, it’s what tea and coffee were invented for.

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