Penny Mckay

The practice of non attachment is a key part of Buddhist philosophy. If we are able to see through the veil that is this existance, this “reality”, then we will see that non of it is real and that non of it really matters. What does matter, though, is our level of awareness while we function in this so called reality. It is the ultimate paradox.

So how do we remain aware, vital, joyous and “committed” about living a full and purposeful life?

And how can we begin to understand what it means to do this in a way that is ”non attached”? 

Just recently I have been asking, to be shown ways in which I could understand this paradox in a real way. Or should I correct myself in that I wanted to be shown in ways that I could more easily relate to and share with others.

It was interesting that the first insight in to ”commitment versus non attachment” that I was shown, came when my cat appeared in my lounge with a shrew in its mouth. I had my usual reaction of freaking out, shrieking and generally waving my arms in a shooing motion to scare the cat back out of the patio doors. She did go and promptly dropped the shrew in the middle of the back lawn. There it pretended to be dead. So I decided to sit in, on the vigil with my cat and the shrew and the longer I sat, the more I got in the moment and the more I got in the moment, the more I began to see the commitment my cat had to its prey. It was a waiting game and the shrew took its time. Eventually, it did begin to move, little by little,  though cautiously at first. My cat also took her time and watched and waited, fully committed to watching and waiting. It was brilliant to witness and it lead me to consider how can the predator be attached to the prey, for they have to eat it for survival! The predator fully commits to the process of catching the prey in the knowledge, of the outcome, it will be eaten. (Only not on this occasion because as soon as he was able I popped the shrew under the shed, out of harms way! ) Was my cat bothered? Did she sulk? Did she have a hissy fit and give up? No. Committed but not attached.

Then my mind began to move in other ways.

Consider baking? Cooking? You know that to achieve something that is edible you commit to a process that involves the appropriate ingredients, in the appropriate quantity and that they are dealt with in the appropriate way.  You invest time and effort (and sometimes blood, sweat and tears) towards an outcome that means your food will be consumed(hopefully). Your finished dish cannot be kept and looked at and admired, for as with all food it will spoil. So it must be eaten, savoured, enjoyed, celebrated and through this process we let it go. Committed to the process but not attached to the outcome.

How about gardening? Similar theme here too. All gardeners know they have to be committed to tending to their plants needs. Through careful planting, the appropriate soil, feeding, regular watering and exposure to the sun there will be rewards to reap. By being commited to nurturing the plants the fruits of the labour are admired or consumed. But not held on to. That glorious rose can only be glorious for a fleeting few days and it will wither and it will die. Those tomatoes or beans or strawberries must be picked and eaten, harvested in celebration at the optimum time or they will rot. What an incredible teacher nature is. Committed to the process but not attached to the outcome.

Then I considered how we value a fine wine. Many are stored for years in the commitment to mature and deepen the body and flavour. Again there can be no sense in needing or keeping or grasping when it comes to a fine wine. It has been created to be savoured and appreciated. That savouring and appreciating is fleeting, gone in a moment. You can not just look at a fine wine in a bottle, you must drink it, celebrate it and let it go!

How about having children? Now we’re talking. Herein lies a process of commitment  without attachment, which begins at the moment of conception. The moment a child is conceived is the moment of supreme non attachment for we must let our children grow and let our children go to become adults themselves, eventually. You can give your child the biggest hug in the world but you cannot keep him held. Commitment through non attachment.

So check out where you are, are you grasping and clinging to things? Car? Work? Money?

Are you holding on to people? Your children?

Why not celebrate the fantastic job you’ve done of being committed to those things or that person, by letting them go?

And gently start to practise the art of commitment through non attachment.

X